What not to say when you’re late for work
Posted on January 27, 2012
Filed Under Corporate Policy, Employment, Keeping your Job, The Workplace | Leave a Comment
Some time ago, I published a list compiled by CareerBuilder detailing some of the most ridiculous excuses ever used be employees to get out of work, my favorite of which was “chicken attack.” Although, I fervently believe that Occam’s Razor—the simplest explanation, ceteris paribus, is the most likely—is a less than useful tool for judging the validity of employee excuses. In fact, I’ve found the opposite to be true: the more outlandish the excuse, the more likely. Call it anti-Occam. Why would anyone concoct an unbelievable lie? Of course, this logic gets us into the same catch 22 the protagonist in Joseph Heller’s novel, which coined the term, finds himself. Logic aside, CareerBuilder recently compiled another list, this one detailing “10 weird excuses workers use when late to work.” I’ll let you be the judge. Just for fun, I’ve included the clipart attached to the original post published by TheWorkBuzz—an “I can haz cheezburger-esque” image of a cat in a tie exclaiming, “I no haz hiccups.”
- “Employee thought she had won the lottery (she didn’t).”
- “Employee got distracted watching the “Today” show.”
- “Employee’s angry roommate cut the cord to his phone charger, so it didn’t charge and his alarm didn’t go off.”
- “Employee believed his commute time should count toward his work hours.”
- “Employee claimed a fox stole her car keys.”
- “Employee’s leg was trapped between the subway car and the platform (turned out to be true).”
- “Employee said he wasn’t late, because he had no intention of getting to work before 9:00 a.m. (his start time was 8:00 a.m.)”
- “Employee was late because of a job interview with another company.”
- “Employee had to take a personal call from the state governor (turned out to be true).”
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