What not to say when you’re late for work

Posted on January 27, 2012
Filed Under Corporate Policy, Employment, Keeping your Job, The Workplace | Leave a Comment

Some time ago, I published a list compiled by CareerBuilder detailing some of the most ridiculous excuses ever used be employees to get out of work, my favorite of which was “chicken attack.” Although, I fervently believe that Occam’s Razor—the simplest explanation, ceteris paribus, is the most likely—is a less than useful tool for judging the validity of employee excuses. In fact, I’ve found the opposite to be true: the more outlandish the excuse, the more likely. Call it anti-Occam.  Why would anyone concoct an unbelievable lie? Of course, this logic gets us into the same catch 22 the protagonist in Joseph Heller’s novel, which coined the term, finds himself. Logic aside, CareerBuilder recently compiled another list, this one detailing “10 weird excuses workers use when late to work.” I’ll let you be the judge. Just for fun, I’ve included the clipart attached to the original post published by TheWorkBuzz—an “I can haz cheezburger-esque” image of a cat in a tie exclaiming, “I no haz hiccups.” Read more

Who’s hiring? 2012 edition

Posted on January 23, 2012
Filed Under Career Change, Employment, Finding a Job, Hiring Forecast | Leave a Comment

As assured as the earth will make one full turn on its axis every “day,” so too is the publication of “Who’s hiring” lists and “our labor market in review” articles at the outset of every New Year. Each New Year, virtually everyone with a horse in the “jobs” game—from blogs, to multinational corporations, like CareerBuilder, has a list to share. Publishing these lists have become somewhat of a tradition here at the Career Services Blog (after all, who doesn’t want to know who’s hiring?). With that in mind, I have posted the top 5 employers who are hiring in 2012 from a list recently published on CareerBuilder’s blog TheWorkBuzz, and, just for some contrast, the top 5 jobs that “died” in 2011, according to Monster. In addition, Forbes recently published a rather short, yet (what I consider to be) clear-eyed assessment of what 2012 may bring for American labor markets. Read more

How to tell job spam from job offers

Posted on January 20, 2012
Filed Under Career Change, Employment, Finding a Job, First Job | Leave a Comment

When I first graduated with my master’s I posted my resume everywhere. I saw my job search as a numbers game. Hedge funds “hedge” themselves, spreading their investments out much in the same manner a gambler playing roulette might place a chip on each number (and multiple chips on numbers promising better odds), guaranteeing a return. I approached my job search with a hedge fund mentality. I posted my resume on every square inch of online real estate available to me- every job search engine and career site available. Read more

Bllamas, New Year resolutions, and your job search this 2012

Posted on January 17, 2012
Filed Under Employment, Finding a Job, Hiring Forecast, The Workplace | 1 Comment

We do it every New Year: ring in January 1, proclaiming change. Feeling refreshed, optimistic about the promise of a new year, we commit ourselves to a series of resolutions, regardless of whether we possess the will to follow through with them. Growing up, my proclivity for the absurd was put on full display each New Year’s Eve. As a child, and on into my youth, I relished the rather insensitive thought of making a mockery of the whole process. I would silently commit myself to incredible, extraordinary, and sometimes egregious resolutions, such as plotting the genetic sequence and splicing together the DNA of a bull and llama, creating a bllama. A “bllama,” I resolved, would be an animal with the valor and august disposition of a llama, and the innate competitive spirit of a bull. Let it suffice to say, none of my far-fetched resolutions (of which the above resolution is merely representative), ever came to fruition. So where am I going with this? Believe it or not- your career. Read more

The office holiday party

Posted on January 12, 2012
Filed Under Corporate Policy, Employment, Keeping your Job, Special Occasions and Celebrations, The Workplace | Leave a Comment

A popular seventeenth century political theorist once surmised that social order derives its stability from the innate ability of individual citizens to effectively dissimulate. Dissimu-what? Dissimulation relates to our ability to hide how we truly feel about something beneath a veil of pretense. Although our propensity for dissimulation may not seem like a positive trait—dissimulation is, after all, nothing more than an ornate euphemism for ‘liar, liar, pants on fire’ (you are certainly welcome to disagree). So what does dissimulation have to do with the workplace? Three words: office holiday party. Read more




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